It seems like I job hop. I have job hopped. But at the heart, the reasoning isn't as simple as simply being fickle. It would be much simpler if that were reality. The truth is that I am trying to find my place. I want to work at a nonprofit with adolescents. That is my niche. I would get better pay from the state, probably. Better benefits, maybe. But I prefer non profit, and if things stay the way currently are, my student loans will be forgiven in 10 yrs.
Mount Carmel taught me a lot, but I was just a cog in the wheel. My boss thought it was fine to yell at me in the hallway and treat me like an idiot because I didn't know answers right off the bat or I didn't research everything. I finally had enough and said I needed to work days rather than nights, knowing that I would be done. So she basically told me I wasn't needed, which is what I expected. I can't learn that way. I'm not an emotional punching bag. I'm glad I'm done. I got a job several days later at Buckeye Ranch, a mental health facility for 9-17 year olds. It's non profit and my supervisor wants to grow it.
I also am moving Piper to a barn with trails and a track. They have a program called Rising Stars which kids help take care of horses to work off poor choices. I'm immersing myself in that world and I am learning a lot. I think this is what I am supposed to do.
I used to think my calling was to help bring babies into this world but now I think it is to help those not brought into the world under the best circumstances. To help them through horses or through making sure their basic health needs are provided for. To help them feel like they matter enough. To prevent them from becoming homeless to going to prison.
It feels good finding my path.
